HOMILY OF OUR WEDDING
(My husband Red and I are blessed for three important reasons: 1. We were given the same assignment in Unilab (he was assigned to be my replacement in Central Luzon as I was being transferred to Manila then), and that is where our paths crossed, 2. We were the first couple to be married at Our Lady of the Pentecost Parish in Quezon City last October 30, 2002; and 3. Our wedding was solemnized by a very good priest, Father Eli Lumbo. As I post his homily here, it is my hope that this inspires our dear friends the way it has inspired and nourished our marriage through the years. Read on...)
For one who has been knowledgeable about what has been happening in less than a week’s time, five days to be exact, you (who are aware) and I, can perhaps say that this union we are about to witness is blessed.
I just knew Red and Nancy last early Sunday morning. Red is a batchmate in Ateneo and friend of a Jesuit who is a very good friend of mine. It was through this friend that Red and Nancy got to me. In that short span of time, I realized Red and Nancy’s determination to have this church wedding. They had to pass through the needle’s eye, as it were, to be able to make this occasion a reality. They struggled with their emotions, they had to face challenges… mostly by themselves. Yet they continued; they are, I believe, thankful that the moment has come that they are here in church, in our presence, to be united in heart and mind.
Yesterday afternoon, I got to talk with Nancy and Red, and as is my habit, I raise questions to the couple whose marriage I am going to solemnize. I asked them three questions, which I deem very essential. The first was, what are the qualities which you found in each other that endeared yourselves to the other that made you truly say, I love this person?
Nancy, you were the first to respond. She cited three qualities: smart, can carry on a good conversation (masarap na kausap) and a good man. Matalino daw si Red, and Nancy realized this when she was turning over her work to Red. Nancy said she was purposely trying to confuse Red but he was always saying, he understood the instructions clearly. Little did Nancy know that she was also turning over her heart and eventually her life to this man she was trying to confuse., or whose mind she puzzles.
On his part, Red said these three traits he adored in Nancy: masayahin, smart (din), and very supportive. Humor or laughter is a very important part of life. And this was a gift that Nancy has. In her laughter, Red’s ears reverberated. In Nancy’s humor, Red’s heart beat faster. I am, and perhaps most of you, if not all, have been witness to Nancy’s infectious laughter.
I also asked them , what is the “pinaka” or the core in the person, that made you say, yes, I love this person so much that I am willing to be united to this person for life, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, until death do you part?
Nancy, now with her infectious laughter gone, and with seriousness in her, said, his being a good man. She said Red has this innate goodness that comes out without his trying to impress it on people, a goodness that she trusts and has faith on. Nancy, remember that quality, especially, when the time comes that you will have doubts on him, when you question his love for you, when you start to have suspicions on his fidelity, when you become uncertain about his person. Remember that here is a good man who loved and loves you, a man whom you trusted and whom you love.
Red, you answer was, it is Nancy’s strength to stand up for her faith and principles, and her courage, to fight for it when she needs to. This is how you experience Nancy’s love to the core. She stood up for you, because she believed in you. Do not give her the chance to doubt her faith in you. Remain faithful, be faithful and be the good man you are. She did not just turn over to you her heart when you came to Unilab, she also gave up the people who taught her to love, the people who gave her life. Perhaps, it is because for Nancy, to have faith is to have life.
Red and Nancy, as I mentioned to you yesterday, remember your responses, especially in times of problems, when difficulties are hard to bear, when crosses are too onerous to carry. Remember each other’s qualities that you admired, recall the core of each person, behold this one person whom you said you will love for life.
I also made you express a promise to each other. Why the promise? Because, as one priest once said, “There is something of God in every human promise. We see something more, something much deeper well up within us when we promise. If we are able to fulfill our promise, we feel a joy that is so pure it simply completes us. If we break our promise, we not only shatter another but ourselves as well.”
Nancy, you said, happiness for Red. Then fulfill the promise or pledge you will declare today.
Red, you said, that you commit yourself to be the best you can be as husband, as father, as friend, as head of the family, to Nancy and the children God will give you. Remember your promises, for as the priest says, “Promises are the heart of human commitments.” Promises are really a sacrament, a human covenant, a sacred sign which tells us that someone else besides ourselves matters. It is a mystery which calls to life the presence of another significant person in our lives. It is a promittere, a sending forth, an inviting to move out, to go beyond the petty, private, cramped concerns of our lives.
Indeed Nancy and Red, you promise, you desire that your union be blessed. Believe you are blessed with this by and though each other. As you know, you are blessed, for is not this the first wedding in this chapel, in the Parish of our Lady of the Pentecost. My dear friends, let us pray for them, that blessing be theirs, that they may continue to love one another, and be a blessing to others as well.
I just knew Red and Nancy last early Sunday morning. Red is a batchmate in Ateneo and friend of a Jesuit who is a very good friend of mine. It was through this friend that Red and Nancy got to me. In that short span of time, I realized Red and Nancy’s determination to have this church wedding. They had to pass through the needle’s eye, as it were, to be able to make this occasion a reality. They struggled with their emotions, they had to face challenges… mostly by themselves. Yet they continued; they are, I believe, thankful that the moment has come that they are here in church, in our presence, to be united in heart and mind.
Yesterday afternoon, I got to talk with Nancy and Red, and as is my habit, I raise questions to the couple whose marriage I am going to solemnize. I asked them three questions, which I deem very essential. The first was, what are the qualities which you found in each other that endeared yourselves to the other that made you truly say, I love this person?
Nancy, you were the first to respond. She cited three qualities: smart, can carry on a good conversation (masarap na kausap) and a good man. Matalino daw si Red, and Nancy realized this when she was turning over her work to Red. Nancy said she was purposely trying to confuse Red but he was always saying, he understood the instructions clearly. Little did Nancy know that she was also turning over her heart and eventually her life to this man she was trying to confuse., or whose mind she puzzles.
On his part, Red said these three traits he adored in Nancy: masayahin, smart (din), and very supportive. Humor or laughter is a very important part of life. And this was a gift that Nancy has. In her laughter, Red’s ears reverberated. In Nancy’s humor, Red’s heart beat faster. I am, and perhaps most of you, if not all, have been witness to Nancy’s infectious laughter.
I also asked them , what is the “pinaka” or the core in the person, that made you say, yes, I love this person so much that I am willing to be united to this person for life, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, until death do you part?
Nancy, now with her infectious laughter gone, and with seriousness in her, said, his being a good man. She said Red has this innate goodness that comes out without his trying to impress it on people, a goodness that she trusts and has faith on. Nancy, remember that quality, especially, when the time comes that you will have doubts on him, when you question his love for you, when you start to have suspicions on his fidelity, when you become uncertain about his person. Remember that here is a good man who loved and loves you, a man whom you trusted and whom you love.
Red, you answer was, it is Nancy’s strength to stand up for her faith and principles, and her courage, to fight for it when she needs to. This is how you experience Nancy’s love to the core. She stood up for you, because she believed in you. Do not give her the chance to doubt her faith in you. Remain faithful, be faithful and be the good man you are. She did not just turn over to you her heart when you came to Unilab, she also gave up the people who taught her to love, the people who gave her life. Perhaps, it is because for Nancy, to have faith is to have life.
Red and Nancy, as I mentioned to you yesterday, remember your responses, especially in times of problems, when difficulties are hard to bear, when crosses are too onerous to carry. Remember each other’s qualities that you admired, recall the core of each person, behold this one person whom you said you will love for life.
I also made you express a promise to each other. Why the promise? Because, as one priest once said, “There is something of God in every human promise. We see something more, something much deeper well up within us when we promise. If we are able to fulfill our promise, we feel a joy that is so pure it simply completes us. If we break our promise, we not only shatter another but ourselves as well.”
Nancy, you said, happiness for Red. Then fulfill the promise or pledge you will declare today.
Red, you said, that you commit yourself to be the best you can be as husband, as father, as friend, as head of the family, to Nancy and the children God will give you. Remember your promises, for as the priest says, “Promises are the heart of human commitments.” Promises are really a sacrament, a human covenant, a sacred sign which tells us that someone else besides ourselves matters. It is a mystery which calls to life the presence of another significant person in our lives. It is a promittere, a sending forth, an inviting to move out, to go beyond the petty, private, cramped concerns of our lives.
Indeed Nancy and Red, you promise, you desire that your union be blessed. Believe you are blessed with this by and though each other. As you know, you are blessed, for is not this the first wedding in this chapel, in the Parish of our Lady of the Pentecost. My dear friends, let us pray for them, that blessing be theirs, that they may continue to love one another, and be a blessing to others as well.
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